You vs. the Feels

Walking around with an attitude you can’t shake?  Understand what it does to your body, why it’s silly to let it linger and how to clear the air – fast.

Energy is a powerful thing.  It’s almost like a literal cloud that you carry throughout your day.  The cloud is either helpful and protective or damaging to yourself and others.  Sometimes – especially as women – we get caught up in our feelings and end up carrying a dark cloud around us.  It could be from an argument we had with our lover,  a bad situation at work, it could even be from someone else’s negative energy.

Why is it important to release bad energy?  After all sometimes it actually feels good to be in a funk (you deserve to be pissed off if you wanna….right?).  Holding on to anything more than you need to is simply a waste of life.  It takes you away from being present and existing in each moment.  It can also be damaging to your health, increase your stress and make you….age (yikes).  Emotions are tools.  We feel angry for a reason, we use that anger to understand something about ourselves and then we release the emotion.  Kind of like eating a meal.  We don’t take a bite out of something and then chew it all day long do we?  So….why you chewing on your emotions so much girl?…

Here’s how to let them go.

Understand the Root

There are only four basic emotions in existence (happy, sad, afraid and angry) kind of like primary colors.  Every other feeling is actually the child of that basic emotion.  Identifying which emotion you are actually feeling is absolutely key.  Our ego might tell us that we’re annoyed, but once we’ve taken a moment to understand why we may realize that we’re actually feeling afraid.  Once you understand that you’re afraid you can begin to understand the solution better.

Forgive Yourself

This is something that literally changed my life.  Someone once interrupted me as I ranted about everything wrong with my life.  “Forgive yourself,” she said.  It was a shockingly simple concept.  Forgiveness of others has the power to rebuild relationships and empower.  Imagine what forgiving yourself can do?  When we walk around carrying some awful feeling it’s essentially a form of self-torture.  We think we are entitled to this torture for some reason; that it confirms something when we exist in it.  Try saying this….I forgive you.  Repeat as necessary.

Give it 5 Minutes (exactly)

The next step is to actually focus on the emotion.  Yep.  Here’s your time to exist in anger for a second.  But only give it five minutes.  Set a timer on your phone if you need to.  In those five minutes ask yourself what emotion you’re feeling (anger, sadness, irritation, disappointment….).  Ask yourself why you feel that way.  Whatever the root cause of your anger is make a decision about how you want to handle it.  Do you want to let it go without confrontation?  Do you want to sit down and talk to the person you’re funkin with?  Whatever it is – make a decision about your action plan.  Then…..LET IT GO.  When the timer is up decide that you no longer have use for that emotion.

Breathe & Deal

Ok now comes the most important part.  In our society dealing with emotions in our relationships is absolutely vital for the health of that relationship and for our own mental rest.  Take a minute the breathe out the negative energy (invasion the energy is smoke clouding your lungs) and to breathe in positive energy (imagine the positive energy is all around you waiting to get in).  Deep breathing floods the brain with endorphins with are a chemical that literally lifts your spirits.  When we’re moody, we tend to breathe in shallow breaths which alone can make things feel that much worse.  So breathing deep is super important.

Now…deal with it!  Talk to your man, have a meeting with your boss, fix the SNAFU or get back into the stressful situation with a better mindset.   As cute as it might be to post for a picture with your bossy girl face on – walking around like that all day is just plain gross.