One person who has really impressed me when it comes to handling life’s hurdles is my good friend Marie Young, creator of GoodLooknOut. I sat down with her to pick her brain about her transition from married to single
…and how she manages it all with flawless nails.
Turning thirty-one this year brought on a lot of realizations. One of which was that this age (the 30’s) is a time of transition for most of my peers. As I scan my group of friends I see about half, if not more, going through a marital shift. Divorce, separation or reconciliation – myself included.
One person who has really impressed me when it comes to handling life’s hurdles is my good friend Marie Young, creator of GoodLooknOut. Her blog is colorful, blatantly informative and above all REAL. Of all the things about her I admire, what stands out the most is her ability to handle a fresh divorce with grace, raise her two gorgeous children, regularly slay the blogging world, work round-the-clock freelance gigs and still come out looking fierce (all while chipping away at a graduate degree).
I sat down with her to pick her brain about her transition from married to single
…and how she manages it all with flawless nails.
How has the transition from married to single affected you negatively?
Negatively it exposed my vulnerability times ten. I feel that should happen when you’re committed to your personal growth.
How has it affected you positively?
It affected me positively in the exact same way. All the things you see as negative are the exact same things you really stand to gain from.
What was the most surprising thing you learned about yourself in the last year?
How much I am guided by fear.
What things help you overcome fear?
Gravitating towards people who speak life into me and navigating away from people who don’t. Talking to myself (laughs)… through meditation. Writing things down because whatever I’m fearful about, when I write it down it becomes more manageable and I just keep pushing from there.
As a mother of two children under 5, how do you prioritize your freelance work?
To be honest I take care of things before they wake or after they go to sleep. I take full advantage while they’re away at daycare or with their father. I think a lot of women try to get the stuff they want to do for themselves done during those times instead of taking care of business. I use productivity tools like Basecamp and Evernote and in the first twenty minutes of my day I take a look at my calendar and establish what things are non-negotiable and what things I can afford to put aside. I go to my favorite cafe or fun places where my kids can play and I can get stuff done.
So many women, single or not, tend to find it hard to keep a balance between looking good and being a mom. You always look so pulled together. How do you keep that balance?
I apply that same rule the flight attendants tell you before take off to my daily aesthetic routine. You know, put on your face-mask before your child’s? My kids are much happier when I’m ok, and looking and feeling great. The vibe rubs off on them, so it’s a win/win situation.
Touch on why you think it’s important for women to make their physical appearance a priority.
There’s something to be said for women who make their entire world about their children. It’s very noble, however I’m just not into that. Just like every human being in the world I have to get up and look in the mirror. So instead of discounting myself because I’m not happy about my physical appearance, I make it a point to keep myself satisfied with the way that I present to the outside world.
What’s the dating scene like in Sacramento?
No but really, when you’re doing what you love and you’re seeking your personal legend the universe has a funny way of supplying your subconscious demands in the realm of love. What you need will come.
At our age right now we see a lot of our peers getting married and starting families as well as divorcing. It’s a very interesting time in our lives. What advice would you give the women getting married? What advice would you give the women getting divorced?
To the woman getting married – It sounds cliché, however, getting to know yourself thoroughly is the primary ingredient to any lasting relationship. The better you know yourself and what you want and need out of life and out of a relationship the more likely you will find yourself in a lasting partnership. In addition to that I’m pro-thot! Disclaimer: you’re going to get labeled a “thot” if you decide to spread your legs to more than one person your entire life. With that being said, embrace your thot-ness. I’m a firm believer that you should experience yourself, your sexuality, and understand what pleases you before you tie the knot.
To the woman getting divorced I would say, “Do you need a ride to the courthouse?” Once you get it in your mind that a divorce is the best option for you and your family to grow, your true self is speaking to you. It’s probably time to move on. Suit up, it’s about to get real real. Lastly, when he comes creeping back into your text messages – enable the blocking feature.
Would you say there are some definite warning signs to check for in a potential mate and what would they be?
I think when a man isn’t chasing his own passions that’s a sign to run. If he can’t chase his own dreams, then how can he affectively chase you? If he can chase his passions and maintain a relationship that’s pretty much the best type of man. Everything else is kind of trivial.
You have been running a successful blog for about three years now. Your focus tends to be mainly on external topics. Have you felt the pull at all to touch on more intimate and personal subjects?
All the time! When I first started writing I was working in corporate America and I had a desire to write from a personal voice. However there was a lot of apprehension about being truly transparent online. But as time goes on and I start moving further and further away from the whole big business concept, I really just don’t care anymore. I’m about to let loose on the world in a minute.